Electron Orbitals

It's just hard sometimes. It just is....

I'm at work. One of the Drs just upset me. They all upset me for the same reason. There are aspects of their jobs they don't know that well. (These are docs that sit behind desks and dont do research or see patients) Instead of taking responsibility for their lack of knowledge they shove blame somewhere else....occasionally that means me. I can't deal with that. And ofcourse because they have a PhD I'm supposed to act like they can do no wrong. NOT ME. I refuse, absolutely refuse to do a jig for anyone because of their own pride.

But why though. Why does it have to be this hard. The human ego is such a disgusting force. There are people here at NIH that won't bother looking you in the eye when they pass in the hall because you don't hold the same level degree they do. I swear this is true. I've always just looked at it as a mere function of time. Give me enough time and I'll be where you are, if I want to be that is. I'm only 25 for goodness sakes.

Co-workers tell me to just let it go. Don't let em get to you. That's just how they are. That's not acceptable for me though. I'm a human being. I don't deserve to be talked down to, especially when I know more about the topic. I've stayed out of Grad school this long to make a wise decision about where to take my career. This experience has showed me that I don't want to be a PhD in my actual field. Maybe in a soft science but not BioChem. I don't want those jerks to be my coworkers.

I'm once again leaning towards the MD. But not the snooty MD that don't give two damns about people. I think I wanna go far away and help people that really truly have a need. I'm just so tired of the hierarchy. Can't folks just do what they wanna do to the best of their ability and not be treated as less than? And it doesn't happen to me all that often but I see others deal with it constantly. That chips away at your self esteem even if you don't realize it.

Degrees have never impressed me. The smartest people I know didn't even finish elementary school. I'll sit at their feet and let them drop knowledge on my forehead for eons of time. I wanna be one of those people one day. My kids not gonna wanna hear about electron orbitals, they'll want me to teach them something........

Life Changing.