Quarter-life crisis?

What a day! I am tired. I didn't really do much though. The prospect of all I have to do is making me tired.

This month has flown by. Unbelievable. Life is just flying by.

I'm thinking about happiness right now. I'm wondering what it feels like. Do people ever truly achieve it? What causes it? I want it.

I'm not sure what makes me really happy. I know what would make me content with life ( my own family), but what about attaining that extra?

A guy at my job got sick and died today. He wasn't even old. Occasionally I'll get into one of these moods where I'm thinking about the meaning of life and all that jazz. Quarter-life crisis maybe? I just so desperately want mine to mean something. SOMETHING!

Should I be waiting to experience things or should I just jump on in there. If I am true to my resolve of focusing on the things I cannot see (the permanent things) like spirituality and character and love and happiness and companionship, I should be screwing it all and following my intuition through life.

Lol. Whenever folks get into a 'love rut' they always lookin for companionship instead of a relationship. I've done that.

But anyway, I wanna spend some time sitting out on the grass looking up at the sky asking God what to do. Asking him to keep me alive long enough to make him proud of me. Cause I know I'm not right now. I always thought maybe I'd make a difference if I worked for ADRA or Red cross or something. Peace Corps maybe. A life of service would be incredible.

I wish I could see a complete video of my first years alive. Each baby is born with what they are 'bent' towards. Was I 'bent' towards science or did I do it cause I'm good at it? I wanna know what those first years of life will reveal. It would be interesting to find out that I am bent towards something totally different.

God, we need to have a chit-chat.