Tears had to flow

I don't cry often but I had no choice a few minutes ago. I was watching the tv in our work cafe and saw the news about the acquittal of the detectives that shot the 23yr old bridegroom on his wedding day in New York.

Tears had to flow. That hurt me. Alot. How evil the world is; how horrible humans can be towards one another. How could a judge rule this way?! It just hurts me. Alot.

I'm sure I've blogged in the past about the frivolities of life and focusing on what is really important but I must say it again. This man was only 23! He's dead and gone. Left behind the love of his life and his daughter. I wonder if as I make plans for the future are they in vain? Nicole could die tonight on her way home from work. Then the vacation I am so concerned about in July would be a non-issue.

What about today? Am I a good person today? Am I respecting and loving people? Or am I hurting them? Am I preoccupied with shoes or do I realize that people are hungry all around me? Have I ignored those around the world by changing the channel or do I keep them in my heart and in my prayers; truly? Will I settle for money or will I make my life matter.? Will I save someone from shedding a tear? Will I be remembered or will I be forgotten?

I'm not gonna lie. I am nervous about tomorrow. It's like I don't wanna sin anymore but I just can't stop. That is my nature. But I gotta stop trying and let God handle it.

The more I try not to sin the more I do. It's just like if someone tells you not to look at a spot on their shirt. You're gonna try hard but you'll look eventually. But if they told you to think about the beach instead you could do that and eventually forget about the spot. Instead of trying not to sin I'm gonna focus on my relationship with God.

I just imagine a time when all this pain in the world will go away.......far far away.