Death

I was driving to work this morning and I heard on the radio that Gerald Lavert's younger brother died this weekend at the age of 39 I believe. I have no idea what the guy looked like and I was never a fan of their music but the news was still very sobering. Those parents have lost both of their children in under a year. God help them. I have no children but I have people I love and the pain I would feel in losing any of them pales in comparison to what their parents must feel.

I wondered about death. It doesn't scare me. I'm a sinner and I mess up every single day but I feel secure that I'll be saved. My little cousin asked me a million questions about death on Friday. She went to the new Human Body exhibit in Baltimore and saw all those dead people and body parts. She was paranoid about death. But what is the need for paranoia? The dead know nothing. For those dead in Christ it is a mere sleep. I've been ASLEEP before and I might as well have been dead. Once a whole day had past and I didn't know. I've undergone surgery. The anesthesia was SERIOUS. I have no idea what occurred during that period of time. But I know it didn't hurt, I wasn't scared, I simply knew nothing. Not so bad.

One old lady at church said how she's sick of this life anyways. She's lived long enough and she's tired of payin bills. lol. She's secure in her fate. I wanna experience a few things before my time but I'm sure Gerald and his brother wanted to as well. They never thought their lives would end so suddenly. I could leave for lunch in a few minutes and not make it back. Then what? It happens to someone every day. Young and old.

This is repetitive I know but I really do feel like I'm wasting time not doing and saying all the things that are important to me. What if the people I need to say something to aren't here much longer? I have alot of those in my heart. People will think I'm crazy if I just tell them I love them outa the blue. Or that I'm sorry. Living each day like it's your last is a real thing. It's the reason why getting up and going to work each day bugs me so much. Is this really all my life is to be? Impossible.

No Regrets Right? So if I'm true to me then I can't do this much longer. I'll have to shun the pretenses and delve into what satisfies me. Forget protocol and really 'talk' to a few people.

..........Deep inhale............strong exhale.........and off I go.