Friday, March 28, 2008

Can I rub your head and wash your hair?

I missed a day yesterday. My apologies.

I was on the phone for quite some time having a chit chat with my buddy late last night. The conversation zig zagged and we landed on the topic of mate choosing...of course. lol

Results:
My sis gave me a sermon to listen to titled 'Dating for Dummies'. It was hilarious. Here is some of what I learned.

We all should have a list of Must Haves and a list of Preferences. For example, a man must have a job, yet I prefer to date men with hair and strong hands. lol.

The Must Haves list needs to include character traits and spiritual aspects. For instance, I need an honest, trustworthy man that loves his maker and whose spirit breathes with mine.

I should have made a list of simple things like this a long time ago. I realized that I've been picking men that fulfill my preferences but not my must haves. My boyfriends have all been quite sexy BUT.....

It's important not to compromise on your must haves just because someone has all the preferences. It can be tempting but it will most certainly end tragically. Preferences tend to be those things that sweep you off your feet while the must haves are more basic yet essential. I think this is why we often see progressive women with no job havin' losers. The loser is usually attractive and is probably a great lover. Or we see a decent God fearing man with a long haired hussy with a big booty. She can barely read but she'll do 'anything' (if you know what I mean).

Alot of the happily married people I find have compromised on some of their preferences but the must haves are all intact. The guy might not be all almondy but he got a job and you're his priority. The woman might have a strong jawline and a few more naps than desired but she's nurturing and supportive.

So sorry but I CANNOT compromise on the hair thing. I think I'm gonna just move it off my preference list and make it a must have. Playing with a man's hair and massaging his scalp....mmm.... I just can't live without that for the rest of my life.

I've heard that the sexual stuff needs to be on the must have list. Disagree. You cannot be tryna build relationships because the person can throw down in that arena. Another notch for the celibacy column. My judgment isn't clouded. And honestly things of that nature can be acquired through steady instruction. Just make sure the person is willing to learn and it'll work out. Can't do the opposite. Character is NOT acquired through instruction. Don't bother trying to change who someone is so they can be on the list. Waste of time.

Ok I need some inspiration for topics other than relationships.....
Enjoy your weekend peoples!

3 comments:

T said...

Ok...firstly...there is a rhythm to sex that you either naturally have or dont. And that rhythm works with other people or it doesnt...you cant teach someone that kinda stuff.
Next, OMG I love having my head rubbed...it's one of my favorite things...can you marry me NOW?! ;-)

NicHova said...

i feel it can be taught....but who knows. i know what u mean though. is it that hard to learn?
yes if things continue we can just go ahead and get married at 35 when we have our invitro baby. make it all legitimate ;-)

Maryk6 said...

You and the hair... lol... I was just thinking about our convo yesterday... It also made me think of that movie Something New with Sanaa Lathan... The part where she's having din din wit her girls on Valetines Day and they talk about their IBM's...