Worth

Monday already....

It's hard for me to think of what to write about on a Monday because I'm usually coming down from a chill weekend. No new material.

So something from Friday (and Saturday) left an impression on me...I've th0ught about it several times since.

I'm pretty ok friends with a lady at church and her husband served my food and stuff for me at the Good Friday program (That was part of the program). But he went above and beyond though. After he shared the food he pulled out my chair. He checked up on me periodically. Then he went and got my juice. Asked if I needed anything more. Came back and took away my plates. I finally started laughing and I said "you don't need to do all this you know", he said "Nicole I want you to know what to expect from a God-fearing man in the future. If he doesn't treat you this way then don't waste any time on him." So goofy me...'You're right. I'll remember that.'

Honestly I felt sort weird when he was doing those things for me. Just because I honestly have not genuinely experienced that from any guy I've ever dated. I felt kinda fuzzy inside. lol. Girls we try and act like we're all strong and independent; the 'I don't need no man' mentality. That is a bald-headed LIE. A good man has the ability to do things for us we could never do for ourselves; make us feel ways we'd never be able to make each other feel. That is how God designed it all. We need them to admire us and show us how special we are to them. Or our petals droop.

Saturday my mom had lunch after church. Same brother was there. Again he didn't let me lift anything heavy. I couldn't take out the trash....nothing laborous. He said 'remember what I said yesterday...." After eating the guy from last week that was grilling me about not 'picking' a man started up another conversation along the same lines. He said "Full eyes, you'd make a nice empress for some nice man and I just don't want to see ya waitin' long." Last week he irritated me but I get his intention now.

What left the impression was the genuine interest my 'brothers' have taken in my treatment and happiness. My dad was sort of an unemotional guy for the most part so I don't think I've ever understood the role of nurturing men in a young girl's life. They really do help you set the measuring stick high for how you should be treated in a relationship. I took crap because I never received any coaching as a youth. I just didn't know I deserved better than what I got. (No hard feelings, my Daddy did the best he could with what he knew)

I experienced something I have never experienced in my entire life.......genuine admiration and a feeling of masculine security; just because I'm me and I'm worth that. Makes femininity flower with the greatest capacity to nurture and love.

Final point. This is my logic about love and relationships: I will never again date a man that does not have a deep relationship with God. God is love and therefore only through Him can any of us know what love truly is. We'll never get that understanding no matter how many books we read. A man that doesn't know God can NEVER love me with the full expectation God had in mind when He created me. He might do the best he knows how but if God hasn't put that love inside of him then he won't have it to give to me....and I'm trying to experience the fullness of what I was made for. It goes the other way too of course.

We miss out and make such horrible mistakes when we try to do these things all on our own. Celibacy ain't always easy but I think my reward will be this kind of love. Well worth it.

It's sort of hard to explain....