Flow with it

Ok so my weekend was GREAT! Church was great (it was potluck Sabbath), the Raheem/Jill Scott concert was INCREDIBLE, and Sunday I cleaned (don't tell my mom).

I wonder if folks realize how important self evaluations are? self reflection? aka taking stock of your life and even more importantly, your spirit. Read my buddy Chris' blog about the rat race. I'm feeling him on the topic. My struggle has been the idea of settling for a bondaged life. I CANNOT have some supervisor tellin me what to do all day. I CANNOT be stuck in a cubicle for 7hrs a day. As my sister would say, I'm wilting. I need sun, air, water..... But yes we've all gotta earn a living so what am I going to do.

One thing I am sure of is that God did not create me to spend 40years working in an office. Even if I get my PhD in bla bla bla......that is still too regimented for me. I feel like I'm in a straight jacket sometimes when I'm at work. Now I have a cool job and I work with really great people but I just don't think this is what my life was meant to be.

I think everyone is an artist. We are all creative and we have 'callings'. Someone's calling might be to teach, or civil rights, or music, or an attorney, doctor, administration...whatever. I've always wanted to travel as a major part of my work. There are people all over this world in need of help. Like real life saving help. I never understand how we can sit around wondering if Britney Spears got on panties while people are being killed in Darfur and Kenya. Why doesn't anyone care? The gifts we were all given aren't to be just for us to make a living but to somehow help others as well. We should all give. Something. Even if it's just time.

So how do I fit in this bigger plan? Not so sure yet. Trying to figure it out. I'm taking my time because I want to be sure. People keep asking me , 'why aren't you in med school", bla bla bla. Just cause I can be a doctor doesn't mean I have to be. I might just end up in med school but I don't see the harm in breathing for a lil bit and making sure. What's the big rush all about?

At potluck on Sabbath two 'brothers' were sitting at my table and during the course of conversation they just started hammering me with questions about why I'm not married and why I don't have any kids. That I'm wasting time. "Nicole, is what ya waitin on?" "Plenty man roun' ya " "Pick nah!". lol . It made me laugh but part of me was a lil hurt. Everyone I know is married and/or have a kid or two. I've always wanted to be a mom and I know I'd make a great wife. Those are major parts of my dreams but it's not the only thing I think about. Goodness! Some visitors came from another church and they asked me why I didn't go talk to the guys my age. That aint me! Only once in my life have I ever approached a guy. He was a special case though.....I think the reason I'm still single and I don't have kids is because I made good decisions, I didn't stay in the bad ones.

Point of the blog is, we don't have to rush into life. Most people who do end up making some critical mistake that costs them years of their lives. I've already wasted enough. Take some time to reflect and learn about yourself. Discover your 'calling' and flow with it. Wherever it takes you. That is the only way to live a spiritually fulfilling life.