It's official. I am a fan of me and my boring life.
I didn't realize how chill my life has become. I know it's not normal for a healthy, single 25yr old woman to enjoy her own company but I really do.
I can't blog about the events of my weekend because I honestly wouldn't know where to start. I'll just say that it was very interesting and I learned alot about me. I learned that life will never again be the same now that my eyes have been opened to so many things.
On my way home last night I realized that I miss my naiveté. I miss the chick I was as a teenager. When I started college I had a such beautiful outlook on life and love. I still do but I'm so jaded by knowledge.
It's like I've eaten the biggest fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Wish I never ate the fruit but I was forced to. In this world you either gotta eat the fruit or die. Better learn to survive or give up. It's a bitter intelligence I've acquired.
Now I understand the plight of a parent. You bask in your child's ignorance but with the knowledge that if you don't teach em then the world will teach em the way of things. Either way their world will turn from white to grey.
I wonder if there is anyone out there like me. Anybody that knows how the 'game' of life is played but doesn't wanna play it at home. Doesn't wanna play it when it comes to love and God. I know I gotta play along when I step outside my house but is there anyone out there that won't play along in love?
Listen, I'm 25 and single so I think about who, if anyone, I can blend my spirit with. Who, if anyone, can breathe out when I breathe in. I know so much now that it makes the possibility of such a someone seems improbable. I'm tired of the world and I want to create my own haven with someone tired of it too.
Does anyone exist that won't just lay it out on the table regardless of....? Heck, I'm at the point now where if I don't like someone I'ma just say it. If I love someone I'ma just tell em. Might surprise people but oh well. I'm tired of playing chess (even though I win 99% of the time).
There has got to be someone plain and simple like me. That wants to just live life, marvel at God's creation, laugh hard, think, read, explore, dance, sing, write, create, kiss, yawn, wink, love and be loved...........
Or
at least love me for loving all these things.
Where are you?
About Me
- NicHova
- My name is Nicole but everyone that knows me calls me Nichova. I was given the name years ago and it just stuck with me. I'm 26 (whoa how did I get to 26 already). I figure people that read my blog will learn about me that way. I'm a pretty happy person. I laugh ALOT. I think I'll be a kid forever.
7 comments:
He is waiting for you. The time will come when God intends for you two to meet. Gotta love his plan! This weekend was a lot...
Wow! For some reason this blog touched me. I totally understand where your coming from with this blog. I feel the same way at times. Sometimes I don't even get this world or most of the people in it. I'm just a simple guy who like simple things. Most of what you mention above. Someone told me I was really anti social @ the party and after reading this I understand why we both were chilling listening to music. I actually enjoyed it. I just felt confortable being in that spot chilling. You seem to have a great spirit, and trust me someone will see it, and appreciate all those things about u. So continue to sing, dance, and all that other good stuff, because oneday you will look over and see someone right there beside you enjoying the same things. I hope the same for me oneday. Great blog! ;)
Well thank goodness someone understands what I'm saying!
I'm not man-hungry or anything...I'm just ready and frustrated at the same time.
You'll find your 'spirit match' one day too Deonte.
Nicole: Oh I understand trust me. When you get a chance (since I know you love music ;)..) search 4 Natasha Bedingfield's song called "Soulmate"... it explains alot. Really listen to the lyrics and let me know what you think. After really listening to it, just consider that my response to what you said about "I'm not man-hungry or anything...I'm just ready and frustrated at the same time."... talk to u soon. :)....if you can't find it email me and I will send it to u.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEzbkGj7EaQ
that's the video
http://www.lyricstime.com/natasha-bedingfield-soulmate-lyrics.html
those are the lyrics.
she knows EXACTLY what I'm feeling.
Quite fitting Deonte!
Nicole: I didn't even know she had a video for this! OMG thanks lol... that's been my song lately. LOVE IT! ;)
Hmmm, interesting.
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